Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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