I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
