You smell like a Billy Joel song
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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