Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
