I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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