yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
