Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
