What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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