I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize