The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
