did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
