why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
