You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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