Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
