Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
