you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
