you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
