No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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