I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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