I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
