I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
