your parents love me but you hate me
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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