BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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