i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
