We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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