What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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