I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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