spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
