No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
