I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
