Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
