Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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