Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize