Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
