I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
