Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
