My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
