and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
