I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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