That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Fuck appropriateness.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
