Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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