The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
