Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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