don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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