we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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