I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
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