yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
