chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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