so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
