Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
