We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
