So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
