The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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