I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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