I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Blood and glitter go together right?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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