Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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