Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
