he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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