id be glad to
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize