Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
