i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
