Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
