the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
