I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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