Where is the hickey?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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